Diary of a Squirrel My Ninth Adventure

  This week I wasn’t sure what to write about.  So I was just sitting there staring at an empty page when I noticed this squirrel sitting on the ledge of my balcony staring at me, I wondered “what do squirrels spend their time doing?” so I asked him and he handed me his diary, and this is what it said.

Monday:

  Today I woke up and found that all of my nuts were gone. (Don’t laugh) So I climbed down from my tree and tried to run across the playground without being seen.  Unfortunately for me there were three Kids already there.  They were all very loud and very large, there was one with a lime green shirt that was lying face down in the wood chips laughing, one climbing up the slide, and one spinning on the tire swing.  They were all wearing that strange fur that came off.  One had lime green fur, one had white fur and the other had black fur.  It was the one with the white fur that saw me first.  He ran over and grabbed me, I tried to bite and get away but the he was to strong.  Then they all circled me so they could all watch as I died of terror.  Just when I was about to give up all hope, the one that grabbed my tail made the mistake of reaching to close to my sharp pointy teeth and I bit down hard enough that it to let go of my tail and I ran as fast as I could into the bushes.  I decided to forget the nuts and go straight to bed.

Tuesday: 

   Today I woke up and remembered that I still don’t have any nuts. My experience from yesterday scared me out of taking the fast route so I decided to take the long way instead.  Taking the long way means I have to run over the roof tops which definitely sounds more fun than risking life and limb to dash across the child infested playground.  The roof tops were slippery and covered with prickly pine needles but the sun was warm and for once everything seemed to be going my way when suddenly the roof came out from under me and I fell to my certain doom which waited for me on the wet pavement below.  I flailed my arms but I do not take after my flying squirrel relatives.  It seemed to me that this would be the end when a passing dog caught me its mouth.  At first I thought it was going to put me down but just as I tasted freedom it lifted its head again and carried me back to its human in those slobbering stinking jaws.  Then as if it couldn’t get any worse, the beast started flinging me around, up and down and left and right, and that’s when the lights went out.

Wednesday:

        I woke up in a strange cave.  It was dark except for a light that came from the deeper part of the cave where the scents of berries and some sort of sweet thing came wafting to my nostrils.  At the mouth of the cave I could see the light of the full moon beaming down so I sneaked toward it but I ran into an invisible force field!  I could see it now it surrounded me like the kids at the park.  I ran myself against the glass again and again but it didn’t budge, I even tried to bite it but my teeth couldn’t break through.   I was still trying to gnaw my way through the force field when the human came over to my prison and dropped through some almonds!  After I stuffed my cheeks with them the human took me out of the force field and tied me to a small version of the machines the humans usually ride in, and the machine began to move. Fortunately for me the stupid human forgot to close the door to the cave and the machine rolled right out the door.  Before the human could come and retrieve the machine I chewed through the rope and dashed off into the night, laughing because I had taken the human’s nuts and escaped!  For the first time ever the squirrel had triumphed over the human.