Spooky story(cue creepy music)

Hello internet!  I haven’t posted in a while so to celebrate my homecoming to the world of blogging I thought I would share a little short story I wrote.  The story behind this story is that I thought I had to write it for English when it turns out that I actually didn’t have to write it for another week.  So here for your entertainment is the captivating tale of Phil the Carpenter.    

Phil the Carpenter

It was a blustery evening as Phil the Carpenter walked home late from his store.  In his determination to get home he didn’t feel the rain that fell, only the bitter cold that bit at his nose and fingers.  When he finally reached his little cottage on the edge of town he was half frozen from the cold but glad to be home now.  He had bought this house because it was farther from other people than his old house.  He disliked having to deal with them because they were not as intelligent as him.  It was just another evening for Phil alone with his thoughts and a mug of black coffee. 

He was just thinking about his dreadful experience the other day when the librarian had yelled at him for knocking over the book cart, when a knock on the door roused him from his brooding thoughts.  “What do you want!” he snapped but there was no reply.  He waited for a second before dismissing it and retiring to his bed. 

As soon as he laid his head on the pillow he fell into a nightmare.  In his dream there was nothing, not light not sound not anything, but then there was something.  A figure off in the distance was coming toward him, as it came closer he could see its face.  This was no person, but a monster with blood and gnashing teeth.  Somehow he knew, although he did not know how, that the monster was him.  It was closer now, coming toward him like a steam engine he tried to run and scream, but he could neither move not make a sound.  The monster was neared now and he was just about to become a midnight snack when he was woken up by a knock at the door.  He got out of bed slowly, his old joints creaking like old floorboards, and hobbled over to the door.   He opened it very slowly still paranoid from his dream only to find a small child on the other side.  It was a boy no more than seven and he was shivering from the intense cold and rain.  “What do you want!” he snapped at the small child.  “Please sir I have no where to stay tonight” the child pleaded looking up at Phil through a mop of brown hair with bright blue eyes.  “Go away!”  screamed Phil and slammed the door.  He turned around only to find the child sitting in his living room.  The child said nothing but sat there, then slowly turned his head to face Phil.  What Phil saw horrified him; it was the monster’s face from his dream.  He opened the door and ran as fast as he could out into the stormy night.  The monster followed him, and they ran through town.  Phil’s lungs burned, but he ran on until he reached the ocean.  It was usually calm but the storm had made it angry and it reached up at Phil with icy, wet claws.  He turned only to see the monster running toward him.  The last thing he knew in his life was the bite of the monster’s teeth and the awful stench of its breath.  Then the sea sucked him in and trapped Phil in the dark depths of the ocean.

Not bad for me writing this in twenty minutes before school huh?  Anyway thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my spooky story of Phil the Carpenter. 

What to do when your bored(My Tenth Adventure)

  So you’re sitting at home on the first day of the way-too short weekend, and instead of doing something interesting, you are sitting here doing nothing just letting you’re weekend waste away.   Well fear not I have some solutions for your problem so you can have some fun before you’re forced to go back to the school/work week.   Here are 50 suggestions on what you can do to banish your boredom.

1)      Watch YouTube videos of the manatee face smush with honk sound effect(see below)

2)      Watch death Metal Rooster on YouTube (see below)

3)      Battle a sea monster, then apologize and go for lunch

4)      Take a long walk off a short pier

5)      Have a long conversation with a mime

6)      Learn to speak mime

7)      Watch the “Friday” video and try to imitate Rebecca Black(I’m not mean enough to put a link to this video)

8)      Dig to the center of the earth

9)      Imitate the death metal rooster

10)   Make a full scale model of the statue of liberty out of bacon

11)   Read this list

12)   Perform open heart surgery

13)   Discuss you’re place in the universe…with your cat

14)   Search for Sasquatch

15)   Swim to France

16)   Build a space ship

17)   Contact aliens from a distant planet

18)   Shrink yourself

19)   Paint your nails bright colors

20)   Paint your brother’s nails bright colors

21)   Run away and hide when he catches you

22)   Race a snail

23)   Learn the “happy feat” dance  

24)   Go to the arctic and look for dancing penguins

25)   Join a tribe of Eskimos and live the rest of your life in Antarctica

26)   Look for Santa Clause in the North Pole by disguising yourself as a Christmas elf.

27)   Get lost and ask for directions

28)   Ignore the directions and go home

29)   Watch David after the dentist

30)   Re-invent the light bulb

31)   Bring back the dinosaurs and put them in a Petting Zoo for small children

32)   Join a band and become famous

33)   Have a public mental breakdown and spend the rest of your life in a mental institution

34)   Run for president

35)   Drag a piano across the freeway

36)   Force dad to watch twelve strait hours of SpongeBob

37)   Travel to Pandora in a clown car to get an autograph from the giant blue people

38)   Be the mastermind behind a bank robbery 

39)   Predict the end of the world

40)   Dress like Lady Gaga

41)   Take a marching band on the city bus

42)   Train your parrot to speak for you

43)   Let the dogs out

44)   Lie about it

45)   Move to Mexico

46)   Buy a life time supply of Mac-n-cheese

47)   Learn to speak fluent Gibberish  

48)  Train your turtle to jump through hoops

49)   Train your brother to jump through hoops  

50)  Jump off a cliff

  

Diary of a Squirrel My Ninth Adventure

  This week I wasn’t sure what to write about.  So I was just sitting there staring at an empty page when I noticed this squirrel sitting on the ledge of my balcony staring at me, I wondered “what do squirrels spend their time doing?” so I asked him and he handed me his diary, and this is what it said.

Monday:

  Today I woke up and found that all of my nuts were gone. (Don’t laugh) So I climbed down from my tree and tried to run across the playground without being seen.  Unfortunately for me there were three Kids already there.  They were all very loud and very large, there was one with a lime green shirt that was lying face down in the wood chips laughing, one climbing up the slide, and one spinning on the tire swing.  They were all wearing that strange fur that came off.  One had lime green fur, one had white fur and the other had black fur.  It was the one with the white fur that saw me first.  He ran over and grabbed me, I tried to bite and get away but the he was to strong.  Then they all circled me so they could all watch as I died of terror.  Just when I was about to give up all hope, the one that grabbed my tail made the mistake of reaching to close to my sharp pointy teeth and I bit down hard enough that it to let go of my tail and I ran as fast as I could into the bushes.  I decided to forget the nuts and go straight to bed.

Tuesday: 

   Today I woke up and remembered that I still don’t have any nuts. My experience from yesterday scared me out of taking the fast route so I decided to take the long way instead.  Taking the long way means I have to run over the roof tops which definitely sounds more fun than risking life and limb to dash across the child infested playground.  The roof tops were slippery and covered with prickly pine needles but the sun was warm and for once everything seemed to be going my way when suddenly the roof came out from under me and I fell to my certain doom which waited for me on the wet pavement below.  I flailed my arms but I do not take after my flying squirrel relatives.  It seemed to me that this would be the end when a passing dog caught me its mouth.  At first I thought it was going to put me down but just as I tasted freedom it lifted its head again and carried me back to its human in those slobbering stinking jaws.  Then as if it couldn’t get any worse, the beast started flinging me around, up and down and left and right, and that’s when the lights went out.

Wednesday:

        I woke up in a strange cave.  It was dark except for a light that came from the deeper part of the cave where the scents of berries and some sort of sweet thing came wafting to my nostrils.  At the mouth of the cave I could see the light of the full moon beaming down so I sneaked toward it but I ran into an invisible force field!  I could see it now it surrounded me like the kids at the park.  I ran myself against the glass again and again but it didn’t budge, I even tried to bite it but my teeth couldn’t break through.   I was still trying to gnaw my way through the force field when the human came over to my prison and dropped through some almonds!  After I stuffed my cheeks with them the human took me out of the force field and tied me to a small version of the machines the humans usually ride in, and the machine began to move. Fortunately for me the stupid human forgot to close the door to the cave and the machine rolled right out the door.  Before the human could come and retrieve the machine I chewed through the rope and dashed off into the night, laughing because I had taken the human’s nuts and escaped!  For the first time ever the squirrel had triumphed over the human.   

My Eighth Adventure(s) A rant about apartment living

Apartment Living Rants and Solutions

   

When living in an apartment, there are both advantages and disadvantage.  The advantages of apartment living is the cost, the ability to move without having to sell a home, and being close to the city.  These advantages make life easy, but do the disadvantages out-weigh the advantages?  

Disadvantage One: Stairs (cue dramatic music)

In every apartment building there will always be stairs.  It is sad to say but unfortunately it is a fact of life.  When living on the bottom floor most of the time you don’t need the stairs, and even on the second floor you aren’t really effected by them until you get to the third floor.  On the third floor you will need to carry full bags of groceries up three flights of stairs.  Or maybe you just moved in, you will have to carry all of your crap up three flights of stairs and finally get to the top only to realize that there is more crap that you now have to bring up. 

Solution:  Escalators and/or elevators

Elevators and escalators are such wonderful inventions.  They are the amazing devices that carry us lazy Americans from one floor to another.  Sure we won’t get the exercise that we would get if we walked up the stairs but this way we won’t have to collapse when we finally get to the top and then drag ourselves to the shower after our rigorous uphill climb.

Disadvantage Two: Noise

If you live in an apartment then you already know what I am talking about.  There are always those people outside your window at one in the morning. You know who I’m talking about those people who feel like they have to yell their jokes to all of the Puget Sound area.  And then there are those little kids who are just coming home at midnight and are unaware of the people they have just woken up upstairs.

 
Solution: PLEASE SHUT UP!!!

If you really have to talk then please go inside. And to those people who bring their young children home between the hours of eleven o-clock and midnight every single night, I suggest you make sure you kids don’t wake up the whole neighborhood when they come home please and thank you.

Disadvantage Two and a half:  Those little yappy dogs(two and a half because it applies to disadvantage two)

There’s this old guy with these two little dogs named Salt and Pepper.  He takes them outside every morning around eight thirty. They come out barking and they don't stop.  If someone were lucky enough to have the ability to sleep through that imagine what their dream would be.  

Solution: Please explain to you annoying dogs that there is plenty of grass for the both of them.  Also a muzzle would help too if that doesn’t work.

Disadvantage Three:  Those creepy voices

No I am not a schizophrenic.  When you’re in the bathroom in my apartment you can hear the people on the other side of the wall.  If they turn on the shower, you can hear it, if the yell from their kitchen, you can hear it, if they flush, you can hear it, and if they pee loud enough you can hear that to.  One time I even heard someone singing in the shower.  The first time I heard this I thought Michael was up.  (He does that sometimes because he likes to get up and kick me out of the bathroom so he can pee on the toilet seat when I am suppose to be getting ready for school.) 

Solution…Thicker walls?  Actually I have no solution for this, NEXT!

The Speach bubble says Nine...Thirty...AM
Cockle-Doodle-Doo...
Its amazing what people come up with these days

Ahh.. internet what would I do without you

My Dream( My Seventh Adventure)

Secret agent

   My dream started out in a tall, fancy hotel and I think I was supposed to be some sort of secret agent.  My mission was to protect the hotel janitor from this old couple at the top floor.

This is a picture of the hotel that looked really similar to the one in my dream except my dream was during the day time.  

I started out following the janitor around while he was doing his job, but then I had to go to the bathroom.  While I was in the bathroom the old people attacked the janitor (because they had ninja skills) and I had to rescue him.  Afterwards I got hungry so I went to eat lunch while he finished up with work.  Before I could finish eating however, I got a call on my phone telling me he was being attacked by the old people with ninja skills and I had to go rescue him again.  So instead of taking the elevator or the stairs (which would have been the most logical ways of getting to the top floor) I ran up the wall all the way to the top floor and started looking for the janitor and the old couple.  It didn't take long for me to spot both of the old people carrying the janitor over their shoulders. (as mom would say like a sack of potatoes) So I kicked the old man in the shin and they dropped the janitor.

this is almost what they looked like minus the ninja costumes.

Then the janitor helped me sit on both of them to make sure that they couldn’t move but for some reason we weren’t heavy enough to hold them both down and they got up anyway. Now we were sitting on their shoulders and they were trying to shake us off.  In this process they came to close to the railing that was suppose to make sure small children didn't fall from their room all the way down to the lobby.  Unfortunately In their panic they accidentally fell over the railing. (hmm okay so it wasn't so unfortunate for the janitor but definitely unfortunate for the old couple) In the end the janitor and I had just enough time to jump off safely from their shoulders and avoid sharing fate of the old couple as they fell to their doom.

Just another reason to fear spiders (my sixth adventure)

creepy spider

   

Spiders are smarter than we think!  I know because in the shower yesterday, I saw a HUGE spider so I tried to drown it with the shower head.  When it curled up I thought it was dead.  Even though I was sure I drowned it I kept checking back to make sure it hadn’t moved.  When I was almost ready to go to bed I looked back at the spider again and I was sure that it was in a different spot than the last time I checked. That was when I remembered Michael telling me how he killed a bee with oxiclean and grabbed the Lysol from underneath the sink. 

week anti-spider spray

Then I proceeded on to disinfect the spider and sure enough the spider made very small movements as if it was trying to run away from the Lysol.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that the Lysol didn’t seem to be working.  So I used the 409 instead and attacked the intruder with a shower of antibacterial all-purpose cleaner.  After I was absolutely sure that it was 100% dead I rinsed out the tub with the shower and you’ll never guess what happened next!  The spider came back from the dead and started swimming against the current in the tub this time however I made sure it didn’t come back because I made sure it went down the drain.  But let this serve as a warning to all of you.  We should all be afraid because spiders have figured out how to play dead and if they have already figured out that then who knows what they will figure out next.  They could be coming up with new technology.  Before you know it we will be seeing spiders driving tiny tanks that shoot spider poison, or we’ll be attacked from above by spiders flying fighter planes!  So go ahead, laugh, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!                

another creepy spider

see I told you so

My Fifth Adventure

    Hi everyone!  Just so you know the blogging site I use doesn’t work with Internet explorer, if you use Firefox or Google Chrome it works better.  This week Jennifer and I gave Quinn a birthday party at Pine Lake Park.  Jennifer and I went to QFC to get streamers, cupcakes( the cupcakes had strawberry filling I must have eaten at least five or six), and Mango Peach juice, and a mango for Quinn. :)  Jennifer and I tried to hide and jump out and surprise her but I hid behind the picnic table so I think she saw me.  We also  choreographed the birthday song with The YMCA dance, the Chicken Dance, and the Macerena you can watch the video of it below.

      Then we climbed the rock wall by the swings and I got stuck twice even though the rock wall  was only seven feet tall.  After that we went on the swings and I had the bright idea of climbing into the baby swing ans I was just barely able to get out.  After the swings we walked up to QFC and bought Helium balloons at Carrousel by the QFC Starbucks. You can watch the video of Quinn and helium at the bottom of the page.

Quinn's Katy Perry hair

     Yesterday I made a Junk Food bracelet.  I made a hot dog, a pizza, a cheese burger, a cookie and some French fries for the bracelet and then two more hot dog beads for the matching earrings.

   Today I saw “Super 8”.  It was really scary!  I jumped every time someone got attacked by a monster. I don’t want to give too much away but the movie was the best scary movie I’ve EVER seen (also the only scary movie I’ve ever seen) My Favorite character was the kid with the explosives. HaHaHa!       

My junk food bracelet and matching earrings

My Lady Gaga Hair

Jennifer with Orange hair